Tuesday, March 9, 2010

5 months later...

Today at 2:15 in the afternoon it will be exactly 5 months since our little Ian went to LIVE with Jesus. Wow...I can't believe it has been 5 months and I can't believe we are still just moving right along with our lives.

Don't you all miss reading about Ian? I sure miss writing about Ian so today I thought in memory of Ian I would write about what I love so much about Ian. Feel free to post comments about what you loved the most about Ian.

Snuggles...he was THE BEST snuggler in the whole wide world. He might not could see me clearly and he might not could have heard me clearly but dog gone it...he could snuggle me and tell me he loved me in ways no other child could. What an awesome little boy God blessed us with!

I loved so much how I would sit with him on my knee and dip him down and bring him up to my face and I'd say "Momma' loves you!" He would smile every time!

I miss his laughs and smiles. They had to be the cutest and sweetest little laugh and smile God ever created. I'm serious...if you ever witnessed it you knew you were in the presence of a blessing straight from God.

I loved that no matter how "dysmorphic" the doctors thought he looked that when I dressed him to the nines every day that he was the snazziest kid on the block. I miss buying cute little man clothes for our Ian.

I loved it when he would kick me with those little feetsies crossed trying to tell me something..."Get off that computer mom!" "Get off that phone mom" "Quit watching TV mom." He couldn't "speak" but he could tell me what he wanted alright.

I miss 2 am with him. Believe it or not...those were the sweetest times with Ian. He would smile at me with that flirty grin and tell me he loved me with those big blue eyes and it would make everything right in the world.

I miss Rehab Partners with Ian. They loved him and I loved watching him accomplish new things with Ms.Kim. I miss therapy...who would have ever guessed that one?!?

I miss church with Ian. It doesn't feel right to this day to stand in church and sing without Ian on my left hip just a smilin' at the music. Oh how I loved that!

I miss baths with Ian. He loved bathtime and would always kick and play and I miss that.

I miss baby lotion...

I miss brushing his wild and crazy hair just hoping it would lay flat...

I miss bringing his hands together and saying..."Yay Ian...you did it. Yay!!!"

I loved his hand holding my finger!

I loved his personality.

I loved how he could read a person better than I could. He knew if you loved him and he couldn't even see you. How awesome is that?!? Don't you wish we could do that!

I miss bragging on how cute our little Ian was and showing him off to every person I met.

I miss nurse Joan and Dr.Rutland. and I even miss some of the other doctors who really cared about Ian.

But...this morning as I type this Ian is rejoicing at the feet of his Heavenly Father and he has no worries. He knows no pain and he knows no tears. He only has happiness and that's all he will know for eternity. He is playing with other little boys and girls he has met in Heaven and he is LIVING like he never could have on earth. I am so thankful I have faith in Jesus Christ and that I KNOW my little boy lives on in HEAVEN. I feel sorry for those who do not believe in Jesus and don't know him as their personal Savior. The hope of Heaven and eternity with my maker and Ian is the only thing that pushes me to live each day. I can't wait to spend eternity with no pain like Ian and to worship at the feet of my Heavenly Father. How awesome!!! I can only imagine what Ian is doing this morning and I'm sure it's better than what I'm doing.

I know that Ian is checking in on me today as he knows it's a hard day. He is saying..."She is better this month than she was last month and I'm so proud of her." I am better this month on "the 9th" than I have ever been on "the 9th" I am sad that today marks 5 months without the love of my life but I am happy for Ian and that is where my focus will be today.

"Be encouraged. God sees your tears. Cry them, wipe them, feel them but don't let them stop you. It's possible to cry and walk."

I love you all dearly and I appreciate you praying extra hard for our families on days like today. I hope you can find the good in your day even if it seems so hard and bad like mine do somedays. Let's focus only on the good today....

I have a special request this morning...Wae's Paw Paw Rains is really sick and he has been in the hospital for a week. He is 91 and has lived a long and wonderful life. He is battling a lot right now and he could use many prayers for comfort and peace. His family needs to be showered with prayers for strength, comfort, peace, endurance, understanding, etc. These are hard days.



  1. I miss rocking Ian with his cheek pressed up close to mine. He loved to rock and sing and be as close to you as he could get. I miss him laughing. We would have to do the craziest things to get him to smile and laugh, which made each smile and giggle just that much more precious. I miss that twinkle in his eyes. He has such expression in his eyes. I miss his love, that little fella had a way of loving you that was unconditional. Can't wait to meet up with him in heaven!

  2. He was a daredevil. Ian loved to FLY and he wanted to really FLY high, not just a little. I loved how sore I felt the next day after FLYING him because I was not used to doing that everyday. But it was a good sore, because I reminded me of his beautiful smiles and laughs. It also made me realize how silly I would be and how hard I would work to try and get that wonderful grin out of him sometimes. I love how Ian made me prepared for those "tough" times of being a father. As I get up with Owen @ 2am to change his diaper or feed him and all he wants to do is cry and fuss, I realize how lucky I am to have him and for him to be able to kick and swing his arms. Its then when I realize his "tough" times are still really wonderful and precious, so I treasure the time I have with him.


  3. Never got to meet Ian but always anticipated updates and new pics of him on Caringbridge. Did see you guys out from time-to-time at Wally World, etc. and didn't want to intrude on your time but seeing him would instantly put a smile on my face (one regret is that I never took that step to introduce myself to you and meet Ian but will get to meet him when I get "home" :)

    Kelli Lambert

  4. I LOVED his hair! I would try to push it down, but it never went down! =) That was one of my favorite things about him! Love you and thinking about you today.
    Laura Grinnell

  5. I miss how he brought out the best in all who loved and cared for him; whether it was his family, or someone reading about and praying for him halfway around the world. Oh wait a minute... he still does that.

    Heather Owens

  6. I miss him. I miss you writing about him. I miss new pictures and I miss hearing about your adventures.

  7. I have to say I think he was one of the most gorgeous babies I have ever seen. I never met you or Ian face to face, but I really looked forward to each update and just seeing his beautiful smile in the pics you posted made my day, both on caring bridge and your new blog.Thank you for continuing to update us on your life. Bless you and your family.

    Joy Worley

  8. I miss his giggles and that sweet smell he had when you stole kisses from him. I remember when I first met Wae and he took Ian "flying", I was scared to death but that little boy just laughed. I can only hope to live my life as fearless as he lived his life. I also remember how much his mommy inspired me to be a better person, nurse and mommy and how she continues to do so even now. Thank you for sharing Ian and your live with me.

    Kelly Mason

  9. I also loved Ian's flirty little smile! I loved how he interacted with our conversations, especially when we were talking about him.lol! He wow-ed me each time he came and put a new desire in my heart! He loved his mommie and knew her touch, smell and face! Most of all, I loved that we were big buddies! Kim

  10. I miss Ian's visits to CES and how he would ALWAYS remember to come see Mrs. Lana. I miss rocking him in the rocking chair in my classroom. Everytime I sit in that chair I think of the many times I got to hold him and rock him. I miss him looking up at me with that "Hey, you're not my mommy" look. But mostly I miss his sweet sweet smiles.


  11. I miss him helping Pops "preach" Sunday School. It would always brighten my day to walk in that room and see Ian there smiling! Can't wait to see him running in heaven.

  12. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Wae's grandfather. But, can you just imagine the party he and Ian are having right now? I bet Ian ran into his arms and personally introduced Mr. Rains to Jesus. I can just imagine Ian saying, "Come on Paw Paw. You've got to meet the most awesome of awesomes! He's my best friend!" You all are in my thoughts and prayers during this time.

    Leah Odam

  13. Mary I love what you are doing with this blog. I havent posted any comments because I get it in my email and forget to come back to the site and comment. What I love about Ian is that he bought you and the rest of the Rhizo families in to our lifes. Thank you sooooooooo much Ian. I cant wait to meet you this summer you dont know how much I look forward to it. Thanks for all you do.
    Love Baby Corey's mom Cathaleen.

  14. Oh how we love him and miss our sweet nephew! I couldn't even begin to list what I miss it would be to long. He opened up a part of my world I never knew was there! I will be forever grateful.