Thursday, May 30, 2013
Once a year I get to put aside all things from my new "normal" and do something for Ian. Once a year for about a week or two I get to do something for Ian and I'm so thankful I have the opportunity to spend some time on doing things for him. It's that time again...Rhizo Kids Conference 2013. We are expecting around 75 people!!! There are 14 families coming and there will be 13 Rhizo Kids. We have families coming from all over...Texas, Tennessee, Canada, Ohio, and many more. There are five doctors coming who all have some great advancements for RCDP to tell us about. Although we are all so excited about being with our Rhizo family for 5 whole days there is also sadness looming. As we left the conference last year with many tears there was the unspoken fear in all of us. "Whose child won't be here next year?" IT's a dreaded thought for the Rhizo family, but when you are dealing with a fatal disorder it is inevitable. This year it is our sweet Jack Jack who won't be there. Our house won't be the same without his sweet self there. I always loved the fact that if you said "No, no, no, no, no" to Jack he would just laugh and laugh. He was such a hoot! I tell you all of this to ask that you all pray for Tracey. The conference is so hard to attend when you don't have your child. I always dread the moment we take the mom group picture because I don't have Ian to hold. Tracey's hurt is so fresh I believe she is going to need a lot of prayers. Please join me in praying for strength, courage, peace, and understanding for Tracey. If you would like to do something to help with the conference we would love to let you offer your kindness to our Rhizo family. We could use drinks. We need canned drinks and waters. We could also use some prepackaged snacks for the kids. You could drop off any donations at my parent's office in Centre by next Wednesday. If you'd like to contact me you can email me at email@example.com Please be in prayer for the conference. We will start on Wednesday preparing all the houses and final touches before the families arrive on Thursday. We will have medical meetings Thursday-Sunday. Please pray for compassionate hearts from our doctors, safe travels for the families, and health for the precious kids. Thank you for loving Ian then and now and for supporting our mission through prayer. We can feel them.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Do you have a weakness in your life? A soft spot in your heart that the devil knows if he messes with it that he will get to you. Something that he knows if you are headed in a direction that's a path from the Lord that he better hit your soft spot to divert your attention. I have many weaknesses in my own life but one weakness is different. It is personal...it is something I guard with all my heart. All I ever wanted to be when I "grew up" was a momma. I dreamed of being a teacher and a wife but my heart was all about being a mom! That dream was kind of changed (for lack of a better word) when Ian was born. I had to become a mom, a Dr., a hospice nurse, an advocate, a researcher, an organizer, etc. I wasn't able to be "just a mom" to Ian. I embraced what motherhood was with Ian though and I loved every second of it. However, when I became a mom for the second time I became "just a mom!" I was able to be normal and enjoy no worries...so I thought! The devil picked up real quick that Asher was my soft spot...Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for hope and a future." I claimed this verse on Asher's life from conception. I have prayed this verse over this child so many times I cannot even count them. I recite it over and over and over. God has great plans for Asher! The devil tries to invade my thoughts and make me visualize bad things as if that's what we deserve. However, God blessed us with Asher Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." God has a hope and a future for Asher. I tell the Devil this when he puts the horrible, awful doubts and questions in my head. I pray for God to banish the evil thoughts from my head that Satan is placing there. I 100% believe he is trying to sabotage my happiness and faith in Jesus Christ. He will not win!!! Asher has been sick with cold symptoms since about his 1st birthday. I just thought he had seasonal allergies like the rest of us and we went on our merry way. A few weeks ago I went to the doctor for yet another cold with Asher. His doctor gave him steroids for one week and breathing treatments every four hours for a week. He said he was 99% sure Asher had Asthma. Disheartening...my normal life was getting a little tainted with worries over the asthma. I let myself go to those bad places Satan wanted me to go. We did the treatment for a week, he was better, made the Dr. think even more that it was asthma. Boo! Two days later he's sick...AGAIN! It's viral infection this time 103.7 fever for a couple days no fun! I got worried...he's been sick too much. Somethings not right?!? I go to Asher's ENT who gave him ear tubes and explained what all had been happening. He says let's do allergy testing. We do that and we are positive for a peanut allergy! NO!!! Once again...the devil gets me. "Why wouldn't God just let you have one completely healthy child? Why can't he let you be worry free?!? Why would you worship a God like that who won't reward you with health for Asher?" This is what the devil is placing in my head! Along with every worry that can come with a peanut allergy. It can be a very serious allergy. I continue to try not to freak out. I meet with his dr and discover that his overall allergy test score was high so he's allergic to more stuff we just don't know what yet. Will do more testing soon. I can't wait now. I'm a wreck! Reading labels, watching Asher's reactions to foods, crazy lady here I'm telling you! So I tell you all this to say the devil has found my weak spot. Asher's well being means the world to me. I want nothing more than for him to be healthy and carefree. The devil may be trying to divert me from following God's plan but he doesn't know that I know that God keeps his promises. God has a plan for Asher. He knew that plan before he was even formed in my womb. He set this child apart a long time ago and he has plans for a hope and a FUTURE for Asher. You know it could be worse. It could be cancer, RCDP, something fatal, etc. He's just allergic to peanuts for goodness sake Mary! He can't eat Reece cups or homemade chocolate oatmeal cookies. Big deal, who cares! He can move his arms, he can run and play, he can reach around my neck and hug me! Get a grip!!! I tell you all this to say please pray for the battle in my mind. Please pray the rational, Christ following, God fearing mind to win and that the irrational, question asking, worried momma loses!!! Asher will be fine...we will make adjustments. I will educate myself on this and life will be good. Just pray the devil loses and that I am NOT diverted from the path God intends for our lives. I WANT to follow Him!!! I will let you knew about our further testing and ask you join me in praying for no additional allergies. These are just a few pictures from around Mother's day and just general life at our house. We take many "rides" and swing for hours per Asher's requests. He loves to play with his cousins and has a fit when they come over. "Boat...Pops" are his two favorite words and that my friends is music to my daddy's ears. Hope you enjoy the pics.
Friday, May 10, 2013
If you've ever met Asher you know that he is so many different things in one. He's the all around package in this momma's eyes. He is loving, sweet, silly, fiesty, hyperactive, all boy, loves bugs, is obsessed with tractors and farm stuff, mischievous, loves to read, and even loves to snuggle. Although he is so many great things, I'm afraid his mischief is starting to outweigh his sweetness. He will look at me, say no, then hit at me. After hitting, or pinching, or biting he will hug your neck so tight. As soon as he does something wrong I say, "Asher...you need to tell momma' you're sorry." He immediately hugs my neck so tight. Somedays those are the only hugs I get. Not saying I'm urging him to be ugly but the hugs are much appreciated. Maybe there is something he knows he isn't supposed to do...for instance throw his food across the table. He'll give me a smirk and then throw it anyway. Oh me... I do spank him. Actually we spank him a lot. I know some of you are thinking, "Well maybe he needs timeout and spankings don't work." Oh no need to fear, we spank AND do time out girlfriend. We have entered the terrible twos I'm pretty sure. I've been reading up about it and some blogs actually call it the "Terrific Twos" now. Bahahaha...come on!!! Any momma' out there who has had a two year old and actually remembers how they REALLY were at two, instead of some fantasy you have convinced your brain to remember, knows what I'm talking about. I can't count how many times I stop myself before losing it and say "Oh Asher, I love you...I just love you!" That method helps to calm my nerves and I don't scream something at him. You all know I am more thankful for this silly hard headed little boy than most. I treasure the tantrums of "Mine, Mine!" and I adore the "No, momma" words that come from his mouth. However, I am human and I actually get frustrated with him from time to time. I used to feel guilty about letting myself get frustrated with him. I used to scold myself and say "Have you already forgotten the lessons Ian taught you?!?" Then I realized I am only human. I cannot help but to get frustrated at a tantrum or get frustrated when he shakes my lose powder all over the bathroom floor. The first time he unfolded all the towels in the linen closet while I took a shower I got very frustrated. Now I just laugh and am thankful he's being quite so I can get ready in peace. Some of you momma's know what I mean. Or maybe when he turns the faucet around on the bathtub and turns the water on so that it is filling our bathroom not bathtub up with water. Yep! He did that as I was trying to shower. Once he unloaded every q-tip from a 500 Q-tip box in his bedroom. When I say every one I mean EVERY one. Frustrated?!? Just a little but I know it's his mischief just oozing out. He tries his best to control it but sometimes there is just too much mischief in his blood and he has to misbehave. Most days I giggle at him, I hug him, and I say "Oh Asher, I love you...I just love you!" But sometimes, just like every mom in the history of the universe, I get frustrated. For a temporary minute I forget about the lessons Ian taught me and I get mad at Asher. I tell you this all to say...It's Mother's Day. Maybe you are feeling like an inadequate mom right now. Maybe you're feeling like your kids think you always say no or that you're always being mad at them. Maybe you think you're just not good enough and that you don't do everything you thought you would do as a mom. Just know that your kids don't think that. They remember the good times when we are happy, silly, and loving everything they do. They remember us taking care of them when they are sick and rocking them all night long. They remember us kissing their boo boos and making everything all better. They remember that we read them that favorite book one last time before bed and it makes their heart smile. They remember that we let them play outside for hours and that we PLAYED with them. They love us just as much as we love them. Be proud that you get to celebrate Mother's Day. Being a mom is the most precious job in the world. Take the time Sunday to be celebrated by those who appreciate you and let's take that day to celebrate our children. We are so blessed to have them! I remember the mother's days after Ian passed away when I didn't have Asher. The pain was almost unbearable. We still have a missing piece to our family puzzle so the hurt is still there and very real. However, now I get to celebrate mother's day with my silly almost two year old who can make me laugh in no time. I'm thankful for God's grace and mercy. He blessed us with Asher to help heal our pain when we didn't deserve His goodness. We will celebrate this day with one of our boys in our arms and one of our boys in our hearts. I'm just so thankful somebody calls me momma'... I hope you all have a wonderful mother's day and know that you are an AWESOME momma'!!!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. " Matthew 5:13-16 Our church recently got a new pastor. He's not just any pastor either...he's AWESOME!!! He has started a class on Sunday nights and this Sunday Wae and I went. He spoke about us being the salt of the earth and the light of the world. There is a song on one of my contemporary Christian CD's that sings about this. I usually sing the song and love it but I never really take to heart the words, you know the true meaning of the song. After his class I can't sing the song without overflowing with emotion. It's talking about us...here and now. Not the just the disciples from the bible we read about but us!!! As Christians we are called to be the salt and light of the world. We are called to be examples. People should look at us and say "What is it about her/him that is so different? I want what she/he has!" We are to be different from the world and we are supposed to have different attitudes. Whoa! That one gets me... I realized I have not been the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Recently I have been a little on edge. My toes have been stepped on in regards to Asher and I have not been different from the world. I have not reacted the way a person who is setting a Christian example should act. I have acted just like a person living without Christ would act. I've been ugly, I've said hurtful things, I have let it consume my world, and I've been down right exhausted letting it rule my life. When brother Eddie was speaking I thought to myself that his lesson was for me! Brother Eddie described four uses for salt which applies to our Christian walk. It flavors, preserves, makes us thirsty, and works quietly. Are we doing that for our Lord and Savior? Are we being the flavor of Christ for our non believing friends? Are we preserving the world...are we ministering around us and being missionaries? Are we making others around us thirsty for what we have with Christ or are we turning them away from a personal relationship with Christ? (that one gets me!) And are we working quietly for the Lord by living a life that so resembles Christ that people see Him in us in our day to day life? After asking myself these questions I cannot answer yes to them all. I fail miserably every day...I continue to wallow in self pity, I gossip, I question God, I'm afraid to share Christ with friends and family who may not believe, people who really know me and see my day to day life know I COMPLAIN and I like it! I have to do better. We as Christians all have to do better because it is our command from God to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Let's pray for one another that we can do better! Brother Eddie asked us..."How many times does the world catch a taste of us and it's not Jesus they taste?" or we hear someone say..."I would have become a Christian if it wouldn't have been for all the Christians!" Wow... So you may be like me and be a stay at home mom. You may think you can't effect many people but in all reality we can. We take our kids to play dates, to the library, to the grocery store, etc. We can share our light every day as we are being moms and we have the most important job in the world in my opinion...we can share our light with our children! Asher is my world...I pray for him every day to grow up to be a man of God. To have such courage and strength that he takes a stand for Christ and is a life changer. He will not want to be that man of God if he has a momma who is not being the light of the world. Our children know the real us...they are with us 24/7. Be a Christian mom...be the mom who reads bible stories to your children, who prays with them at mealtime and before bed, set a Christian example, take your children to church, live out what it means to be a Christian, hug them, kiss them, and tell them you love them. Teach them to serve others and put their own needs below someone else's. We only get one chance at this thing called motherhood and it's something I don't want to mess up on. I hope you pray for me to be a good mom because I fail every day at something and have to try the next day to make it right. I encourage you to read Matthew 5 and let's all strive to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Let's try to win souls to Christ and make a difference!