Friday, May 17, 2013

What's your weakness...

Do you have a weakness in your life? A soft spot in your heart that the devil knows if he messes with it that he will get to you. Something that he knows if you are headed in a direction that's a path from the Lord that he better hit your soft spot to divert your attention. I have many weaknesses in my own life but one weakness is different. It is is something I guard with all my heart. All I ever wanted to be when I "grew up" was a momma. I dreamed of being a teacher and a wife but my heart was all about being a mom! That dream was kind of changed (for lack of a better word) when Ian was born. I had to become a mom, a Dr., a hospice nurse, an advocate, a researcher, an organizer, etc. I wasn't able to be "just a mom" to Ian. I embraced what motherhood was with Ian though and I loved every second of it. However, when I became a mom for the second time I became "just a mom!" I was able to be normal and enjoy no I thought! The devil picked up real quick that Asher was my soft spot...Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for hope and a future." I claimed this verse on Asher's life from conception. I have prayed this verse over this child so many times I cannot even count them. I recite it over and over and over. God has great plans for Asher! The devil tries to invade my thoughts and make me visualize bad things as if that's what we deserve. However, God blessed us with Asher Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." God has a hope and a future for Asher. I tell the Devil this when he puts the horrible, awful doubts and questions in my head. I pray for God to banish the evil thoughts from my head that Satan is placing there. I 100% believe he is trying to sabotage my happiness and faith in Jesus Christ. He will not win!!! Asher has been sick with cold symptoms since about his 1st birthday. I just thought he had seasonal allergies like the rest of us and we went on our merry way. A few weeks ago I went to the doctor for yet another cold with Asher. His doctor gave him steroids for one week and breathing treatments every four hours for a week. He said he was 99% sure Asher had Asthma. normal life was getting a little tainted with worries over the asthma. I let myself go to those bad places Satan wanted me to go. We did the treatment for a week, he was better, made the Dr. think even more that it was asthma. Boo! Two days later he's sick...AGAIN! It's viral infection this time 103.7 fever for a couple days no fun! I got worried...he's been sick too much. Somethings not right?!? I go to Asher's ENT who gave him ear tubes and explained what all had been happening. He says let's do allergy testing. We do that and we are positive for a peanut allergy! NO!!! Once again...the devil gets me. "Why wouldn't God just let you have one completely healthy child? Why can't he let you be worry free?!? Why would you worship a God like that who won't reward you with health for Asher?" This is what the devil is placing in my head! Along with every worry that can come with a peanut allergy. It can be a very serious allergy. I continue to try not to freak out. I meet with his dr and discover that his overall allergy test score was high so he's allergic to more stuff we just don't know what yet. Will do more testing soon. I can't wait now. I'm a wreck! Reading labels, watching Asher's reactions to foods, crazy lady here I'm telling you! So I tell you all this to say the devil has found my weak spot. Asher's well being means the world to me. I want nothing more than for him to be healthy and carefree. The devil may be trying to divert me from following God's plan but he doesn't know that I know that God keeps his promises. God has a plan for Asher. He knew that plan before he was even formed in my womb. He set this child apart a long time ago and he has plans for a hope and a FUTURE for Asher. You know it could be worse. It could be cancer, RCDP, something fatal, etc. He's just allergic to peanuts for goodness sake Mary! He can't eat Reece cups or homemade chocolate oatmeal cookies. Big deal, who cares! He can move his arms, he can run and play, he can reach around my neck and hug me! Get a grip!!! I tell you all this to say please pray for the battle in my mind. Please pray the rational, Christ following, God fearing mind to win and that the irrational, question asking, worried momma loses!!! Asher will be fine...we will make adjustments. I will educate myself on this and life will be good. Just pray the devil loses and that I am NOT diverted from the path God intends for our lives. I WANT to follow Him!!! I will let you knew about our further testing and ask you join me in praying for no additional allergies. These are just a few pictures from around Mother's day and just general life at our house. We take many "rides" and swing for hours per Asher's requests. He loves to play with his cousins and has a fit when they come over. "Boat...Pops" are his two favorite words and that my friends is music to my daddy's ears. Hope you enjoy the pics. Photobucket

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