Thursday, June 23, 2011

Happy and Blessed...

Last year this time if you would have told me I would be writing a journal entry titled "Happy and Blessed" I think I would have been very offended by your comment. However, this year as I sit and think about my life the two words that resound in my thoughts are happy and blessed!!!

I was working in Asher's room last night and trying to organize everything because he will be here in less than 11 weeks!!! As I was folding the clothes freshly washed in dreft and smelling like a little baby tears started to stream down my face. Happy and blessed...I bowed my knees and fell to my face in thanksgiving to my Heavenly Father. All I could think was "Lord, thank you!!! There is nothing else I could ask of you. I have everything I could ever want at this moment and YOU are the reason."
In astonishment still I ponder the thought that we are having a healthy little boy. When the doctors said it was so highly unlikely God performed a miracle in our lives the doctors had never seen. "Mrs.Ellis there's just no explanation for this!?!" And my response will always be..."There is an explanation to this and it is that MY GOD answers prayers!!!" Matthew 21:22 says "Pray for anything and if you have FAITH you will receive it."

Some of you are probably thinking right now about Ian. You are probably thinking how can she feel so happy and blessed when her 1st child died?!? Let me tell you something...If it weren't for Ian Andy Ellis and the life lessons that he taught me I wouldn't be happy and blessed. I would be like everyone else. I would be obsessing over things that didn't matter and simply overlooking the blessings. However, now I see the blessings and am so grateful for what I have in this life here on Earth. That little boy is the number one reason I am able to feel happy and blessed. Do I miss Ian? Goodness yes! Missing Ian will never be over as long as I live on this earth and he lives with Jesus. But you know what? I have the hope of Heaven and I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'll be with him one day. But for now...I am here on this earth and I will make the most of every day I have here.

Asher's name means happy and blessed! Wae and I are as giddy as school girls over our healthy little boy and we cannot wait for his arrival. It's been a long four years and a long road of heartache to find this happy and blessed attitude we now have. However, Asher has brought back our happiness and our hope and it's such a good feeling. We are making plans for the future. Really?! That's what people do. We already have plans for his first Auburn game and we are over the moon about our healthy little boy starting his love for Auburn football. We can dream about when he'll go to Auburn and follow in his daddy's footsteps when we weren't able to have that dream for Ian. (Yes...I would rather it be Alabama but this is Wae's healthy little boy and Auburn he'll be. One day I'll have an Alabama cheerleader :) We can plan the toys to buy him for Christmas because he'll actually be able to PLAY!!! We can plan vacations with our friends and not have to worry about being sad because our little boy can't do what the other kids can do. We can plan for a future with Asher with hope and dreams and that feeling is AWESOME!!! We are so happy and blessed....

Tonight as I type to you I wonder...How many people reading this also feel happy and blessed? Or how many people reading this find something to complain about in their lives and be unhappy about when really you too have all the reasons to be happy and blessed as I have?!? How many of you are so obsessed with the mundane daily tasks of life that you forget to thank God and be humbled by the blessings He has given you. I know if God hadn't of broken me by the life I had with Ian I wouldn't have the happy and blessed attitude. However...God broke me in order to rebuild me to the person He wanted me to be and believe it or not I am thankful for the experience!!! I hope some of you are able to feel as happy and blessed as I do tonight and are able to thank God for your many blessings as you close your eyes tonight.


  1. I love reading this happy post! It is so nice to hear someone really appreciate the new life they have even in the mist of tragedy. I totally get you with the words, "Obsessing over things that didn't matter and simply overlooking the blessings." It is b/c of our children that live in our hearts that we see the beauty in life and can appreciate the gift of life FULLY. Thank you for all of your inspiring comments.

  2. I love this post, and it is so nice to see you happy. You are an inspiration to parents who have lost a child as well as those who haven't.

  3. I hope one day I can feel "happy and blessed" I lost my son to a rare metabolic disorder that showed itself like SIDS. He was exactly 5 months old. It's been 6 months since he passed away.