Happiness

It's been so long since I felt happiness deep in my soul. I mean true happiness. Not just trying to act happy so everyone around me will quit worrying about me. I mean being happy and meaning it. You know the kind of happiness?!? The kind where you just want to share your happiness with the world. I have caught myself telling total strangers..."Yes, I'm pregnant...." Hahahaha...they don't know me at all but I just want to scream at everyone "I had a little boy born in 2007 with a fatal disorder. He passed away at the age of 2 and my husband and I have wanted to have a baby ever since he met Jesus. We couldn't get pregnant and were devastated. BUT guess what?!? My GOD is an awesome God and he has blessed us with a pregnancy!!!" However, I cannot tell every Tom, Dick, and Harry the whole story so now I just get to be happy with no explanations. And let me tell ya'...it feels good!!!

Pregnancy...I am six weeks pregnant now. Our sweet little baby is developing at a rapid rate. Her (that's my prediction) heart is beating already and everything is in place for her eyes, ears, nose, etc. WOW!!! She is so little that she can fit inside the end of the pencil where the eraser goes. Amazing...We got to meet her for the first time Monday. Wae and I were able to have a sonogram and we saw our little miracle. It was only a little dot but it's our miracle so we'll take it. We go back next Thursday for another sonogram and we should actually be able to hear her heartbeat at that point. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sick? Well...I am the person you hate. You know the one?!? The person who LOVES being pregnant. I remember being pregnant with Ian and it being the happiest time of my life. I was never once sick. I only gained weight lots in my belly and friends said it looked like I had a basketball under my shirt and that's all. My personal opinion...I was fatter than a whale all around and was swollen from head to toe. Anyways...I loved every second of it. It has started the same way this time. I'm not throwing up at all!!! I feel like I'm going to throw up...I want to...but I just can't. I don't remember that before. I am extremely tired and our house is a disaster. LOL. I don't have much of an appetite and have lost two pounds. Go figure!!! I'm sure I"ll make up for that real soon. I am eating just not tons because it makes me nauseous.

I promise to keep you updated if you promise me something. Pray for our baby!!! My every prayer is for healthy bones without RCDP, a healthy heart, eyes that can see and ears that can hear. A mouth that can eat on it's own and a nose that can smell.Little legs that aren't crossed and that can run and play and be WILD!!! Arms that can reach up around our necks and hug us and a voice to say "I love you mommy!" I pray God is already placing a love for Christ in this baby's heart and that we are equipped to raise this awesome miracle child God is entrusting to us. Please join us in this prayer...

Love you guys and I"ll update soon and try my best to upload a pic of our miracle baby!!!

A New Year with New Blessings...

Good morning everyone! It has been an extremely long time since I updated Ian's Reason. I have been living my new life and working on not being so stressed out. Updating the blog was one thing I was able to let go.

Wae and I made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas without Ian for another year. Yes it was hard, but we made it and actually had a good time at our holiday celebrations.

As soon as Ian went to Jesus Wae and I decided we wanted to have another child. Because of all of our genetic testing we discovered that Ian was a "mistake" in doctor terms but an extra special blessing in my mommy terms. It was explained to us that Ian should never have happened and that we should try to have more chidren because RCDP wasn't a factor for us. So...we started trying. We started trying 14 long months ago. Each and every month the pregnancy test has been negative and it has sent me into a deep depression every month. It is something we haven't shared with everyone but our close family and friends knew. We were meeting with doctors trying to determine what the problem was and of course it all led back to stress and there was nothing "wrong" with Wae and I. I slowly started letting things go and trying to be less stressed and less depressed about Ian. I knew God wanted Wae and I to be happy and to LIVE again.

So this week on January 6th at 4 am on Thursday morning it was time for me to take a test. I was up all night because I was so excited. So...I performed the same drill I have for the past 14 months and peed on a stick and waited for "Not pregnant" or "Pregnant" to appear in the window. I have waited and waited the past 14 months and it always took so long for the "Not Pregnant" result. Well...this Thursday morning it was almost an instant "PREGNANT" result in my result window at 4 am!!! I instantly ran into the bedroom and woke Wae up. We were stunned and thrilled. We prayed, and prayed some more, and prayed some more. I have prayed for every part of this baby that is about to form. I ask you to join me in daily prayer for this child to be healthy.

We told our families and friends yesterday and of course everyone is thrilled and so happy that we had some good news finally and some happiness ready to come back to our lives. When I told my five year old nephew Colin he was very excited. He said to me..."Can we name him Ian again?" :) I said "No, I think Ian would want to keep his name special and all his let's think of another one." He didn't care about another name. LOL...he and Ellisan are so excited about having a baby cousin. My nephew Owen isn't old enough to tell us he's excited but his mommy and daddy are and Owen is going to show our new baby all the fun things to do at Nonnie's house.

Ahhh...the feeling of happiness feels good!!! It's a little weird to know a baby is forming in my belly right now. I have wanted this for so very long and now it is really happening. YAY!!! I loved being pregnant with Ian. I wasn't sick ever and it was just the best feeling in the world. I can't wait to experience it again and this time with a whole new perspective. Prayers for a healhty child are greatly appreciated and I'll keep you updated. I'll post a pic of baby Ellis as soon as we get one. We should have our first sonogram in a couple of weeks. :) :) :) :)

I love y'all!!!