Excitement beyond words...

Well...the week has finally arrived. The week when we will meet our miracle baby Asher. This little boy has started out a little stubborn and has proven that he's not entering the world until the doctors make him :) We are so anxious to meet him we can hardly contain ourselves. We have tried to talk him out...didn't work. We have tried to walk him out...didn't work. We have tried to ride in the bumpy pastures to get him out...didn't work. We have tried to encourage him out by spicy foods...didn't work. We went to the hospital 3 weeks ago in false labor...didn't work. I have contractions all day every day for 3 weeks now and I must say...I am ready for that part to be over. They get worse every day and I must admit at times it gets a little scary. We live 1 hour and 45 minutes from our hospital so trying to balance false labor and time for travel has been a little nerve wrenching.

But THIS week...he's coming. I told Wae last night it felt like the week of Christmas does for a 4 year old. You know the excitement you have over Santa's anticipated visit. Well that's exactly how I feel at this moment!!! I can't help but to sing the song..."Grace, Grace, God's Grace. Grace that will pardon and cleanse within. Grace, Grace, God's Grace..." You know the odds of us conceiving a healthy child were out of this world. Wae and I wouldn't have tried for another child had it not been for God's grace. Had he not chosen us for his genetic miracle of Uniparental Isodisomy we wouldn't be having Asher. Don't think for a second that I don't think about that EVERY day and praise HIM for his miracles in our lives.

The pack and play is in the living room ready for a precious little boy to nap in. His bouncy seat is all put together and also in the living room ready for him to play in and his bassinet is beside my side of the bed ready for sleepy time. (I know, I know...he'll probably sleep in my arms all night :) ) His bottles are sanitized and all the passies too. He has a closet full of clothes and shoes like you wouldn't believe. He inherited all his big brother's clothes and shoes you see, so for 3 months he has A LOT of clothes LOL :) We have diapers and wipes galore and are sitting on ready. Our bags are packed and we're ready to go meet the newest love of our lives.

The emotions have been raging lately. I've missed Ian more these last few weeks than I have in months. The fear of letting go of some of the hurt in our lives because we have such happiness headed our way. If we let go of this hurt does it mean we have forgotten Ian?!? If we are happy with Asher does it mean we have replaced him with his brother?!? No...it simply means we are LIVING again. It feels as if our lives are about to start again. We are about to start a life of happiness and joy and just to be honest that feels a little bit weird. We are used to heartbreak and stares because our child looks different. We aren't used to laughter and stares because our little boy is normal and precious to all eyes!!! Of course we all thought Ian was the cutest little boy in the world, but others stared and wanted to know what was the matter. Oh how our world is about to be so different.

So to Ian...I love you my sweet and precious child! Mommy will NEVER forget you and I am not trying to replace you with your brother Asher. We are simply adding to our family. I pray you will be your little brother's guardian angel and protect him all the days of his life. I thank you my precious Ian for teaching me how to love and how to be a mommy to your little brother. If it weren't for you, I would take this life for granted. But because of you, I now know to cherish every moment with Asher and to love him without holding back. Thank you Ian for changing your mommy and know that you will always hold a piece of my heart. I love you from the tip tip tip of your head to the bottom bottom bottom of your toes!!! You will always be my sweet, precious, and perfect Ian!!! Love you!!!

Prayers for a healthy baby Asher and a safe delivery are very much needed this week!! I will post pics when he arrives.