I know...I know. "Where have you been Mary?" "Are you OK?" "Why have you not updated. Well...let me tell ya'! I have been swamped with living life. It is great to be able to have a full schedule now and make plans and follow through with them. It feels great to have a job where I am expected to show up and make a difference. It feels great to hang out with friends, go to church, workout, go out of town with friends, etc. Don't get me wrong...I would give this all up in an instant to have Ian back in my arms. I can't do that though so I am living life and I am living it to the fullest. I do still have days I cry and throw big ole' pity parties but on those days I pray. And then I pray some more. And then...I pray some more. I just remember my "if/then" statement. "If Ian dies then my God will take care of me." He does just that too.
I was able to go with a group of ladies from our church this weekend to Woodstock, GA and hear Beth Moore speak. She was LIVE and in PERSON and you better believe I loved every second of it. Her conference was on insecurity and was amazing. Her worship leader is Travis Cottrell and he did an amazing job. He sang "Victory in Jesus" in a comtemporary version and it was AWESOME!!! Our church needs to sing it. (Hint...hint Joel Nowak. You would be awesome at this song!!!) I just couldn't control the tears during this song..."I heard about his healing, of his cleansing pow'r revealing, How he made the lame to walk again and caused the blind to see; And then I cried "dear Jesus, come and heal my broken spirt," and somehow Jesus came and bro't to me the victory." Oh I am crying typing this it speaks to me so much! I can't help but have the thought..."why didn't he use his healing to heal my little Ian so I could have him forever" Then I remind myself that he did heal Ian and the young age of two it was just in His courts where the healing took place. And then I remember how he comes every day and heals my broken spirit when no one else can and he brings to me the victory. Powerful song! Oh and then it talked about Heaven and the angels and I could think about was my little Ian there in Victory doing all this song said and I broke down again like I am now again. : ) You should try to find it on You Tube it is AWESOME!!!
Link for the song...
http://s0.ilike.com/play#Travis+Cottrell:Victory+In+Jesus:132635065:s48796379.12278838.13620667.0.2.199%2Cstd_5c7ef4d2f20e4a7dbf7506837ba32b9c
Ok...ok...back to the reason for this post. I have to make this quick I'm running late for work. Ephesians 4:1 says "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." Beth spoke about this and explained we are to be used by God. Can you believe he has a calling JUST FOR YOU!!! He really does and boy can you imagine what life is like if you miss His calling. I think a lot of us do miss his calling and that is why life is the way it is. We aren't living according to His will for our lives. Speaking to myself here...maybe if I had been living for God before I had children I would have had healthy children and not have had to go through all the heartbreak to learn the hard lessons I have learned in life. Beth said to imagine it this way...It is your judgement day and you are standing before the throne. There is a huge movie screen and God plays a movie. You say "What is that? That looks like me." and then God points out that this is what he had planned for you but you didn't follow his calling for your life so you missed out on all of this. WOW...is that going to be you and me? No one is going to force the calling on us and make us do the things we are supposed to do in life. Some are easy...go to church, read your bible, live life according to what God wants you to do, etc. Some are hard...follow his plan when you can't see where the path is going, drop everything and move to minister for him, etc. But you are called to a higher calling when you are a believer. So...put off your old self and pun on your new self and find your calling and start living for that. Ephesians 4:22-24 says "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off you old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires: to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
So...today live your life according to God's will and not your will. Try to find your calling in life and live today focused on that. We can worry about tomorrow when it gets here. One day at the time...
I am doing Team Ian shirts and I'll have the designs ready this week. I'll post pics when ready. thanks to all who helped in the designing this time. It was hard for me to do this without Ian.
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I love Travis' version of this song! We participated in Beth's Simulcast last year and it was awesome. Travis is GREAT..his version of In Christ Alone always brings the waterworks for me ;). Great post..thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI was at Woodstock too! I was in the overflow! So glad you got to go! It was awesome!
ReplyDeleteWonderfully put! Her advice on raising children was letting our children see how much we love Christ, through everything that happens. That really spoke to me! I enjoyed the weekend so much! Thank you for organizing everything for all of us!
ReplyDeleteLoved this post....I am up far too late ......actually I can't sleep because I have a tooth ache... so I am blog hopping!
ReplyDeleteBe sure and stop by and read about a miracle in our family....
http://teresa-grammygirlfriend.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-think-god-smiled.html